We Did Not Fall Into Love- Part 3

We Did Not Fall Into Love- Additional Thoughts . . .

(Part 3) Love is on the Market-

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0

I am writing this piece in response to two friends. One recently stated to me that 'loving is the most honorable thing in the world.' The other, when asked to further notate the topic, stated that 'it is better to have loved and to have lost that love, then never to have loved' . . .

As this is a topic that never ceases to fascinate me, I wanted to continue it. Please do not take me the wrong way, as my ideas are rebellious. They fight bullishly to the top of the line, to escape from their matrix. . . they are not very well confined.

I am a declared skeptic. I confess that I do not understand the concept of relationships. In our society, there is plenty of reason to suspect some deep, other motive brewing . . . however, this is not to say that I do not believe in love. I just do not think that relationships are necessarily the base point. How one can be used as a base to build upon, when the idea is wrong, makes no sense. Is the reason to play mix and match? Is love for money, is love for looks? Is it so that one might be socially accepted? Is love merely for companionship? How, in short, do you define it?

It seems to me that there are so many reasons for it that none of them can possibly be true. Caring for other people is natural; it is without cause. True love has no manipulation behind it. I feel as though I can spot a false relationship quicker than anyone else can.  Perhaps this is because the parties are generally trying to love. What would be an 'honorable trait' has been made a joke of. Love has become a product. It is now on the market so that you can choose the correct size, shape, and color . . .

People are always trying to love, and they are always failing to do it. True love only has one color- it is only white. I do not think that one can go 'looking' for love. Love must come to you. This is why I have always declared myself against dating. The very idea of placing yourself on the market, to show your product to the world and be judged- is wrong. It feels like a wrong hand in a game of cards, and you are losing. Love is like a dove . . . it must be free to fly to you.

Love is NOT on the market. 

The Terrible Twenty-Five

I cannot believe that I am turning twenty-five. I never thought I would see her . . . I thought there was a cross-road, and that we would have waved across the path- and then twenty-five would have passed me . . . I never meant to see her face. Physically, I feel much, much younger than this number sounds, but perhaps my fancy has just expanded it. Twenty-five looks to be such a round, heavy figure, and I have seen her every movement; every feature in broad daylight has expanded!  Perhaps, her dress needs to be tailored . . . for she he has indeed outgrown the body. In addition to this, she has awful mannerisms- I have never met anyone so obtrusive. Every time I turn around, she keeps singing this same song in my ear. I can't stop listening. It sounds something like, 'you are old, old, old, old, old, old!'

Social Faux Pas?

I was having a study session earlier with my sister. Our cat Jasper tends to sit on his elevated place- on a pile of homework. We were working through our agenda, he kept her company by his esteemed post. A few minutes into the session, he began to give these small, light grunts. He was sunk into deep sleep, and a contented smile graced his face that- I thought- seemed to say, 'so what?' Soon, they became more frequent, and my sister and I met the other's gaze. The cat was still fully unaware of the faux pas he'd indulged. Indeed, I think that I shall have to teach him manners- it matters not that he is a man!

Cauterizes Wounds

There is no worse feeling than neutrality. It staunches hope, and cauterizes love. It is like placing a band aide over a wound that will not- that cannot heal. To not love, and to not hate, is the worst thing. I would much rather hate something a million times over than not care for it at all . . . why do people not realize this? What is the point in trying to dull the mind? No matter what method you employ to facilitate it- the result remains. You have simply used something to cover the bloody, garish thing that plagues you, and will not leave.

Thoughts From Jane Eyre

'Where was I? Did I wake or did I sleep? Had I been dreaming? Did I dream still? The old woman's voice had changed: her accent, her gesture, and all were familiar to me as my own face in a glass- as the speech of my own tongue (309).

Pain Worse Than Hell

 01/19/2015-

There are many deaths much worse than they physical. How can someone live out each day, rattle inside an empty shell, and continue to be happy? You cannot live according to the rules set down by a system.

There are a wide number of systems, and a great many standards. The first form of 'correctness,' does not equal happiness. You may place numbers inside of an equation, and state that 'according to theory . . . ' but a human cannot thrive; we were not meant to be.

There are many deaths worse than the physical death. The death of a person's spirit bears no resemblance to the pain of flesh. It is not an experience that can be overcome- not through time, nor the mental confidence which must- eventually- come to aid the survivors . . .  it is worse than hell. It will be torture . . .  

We Did Not Fall Into Love- Additional Thoughts . . .

We Did Not Fall Into Love ~  

(Part 2) For the Love of a Dragon ~

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0

I had a few ongoing thoughts about our love, and extenuating relationships. Strangely, this has always been an area that has fascinated me, perhaps because its idea has thwarted me for so long. . . I admit that I do not understand it. I have never wandered into the folds of abundant beauty and poison . . . it escapes me that people would want it. Is love far beneath my notice?  Perhaps some of this is, after all, embedded in my personality. To plunge in the midst of a passionate twist, not to stay upon the sidelines, seems foolish. This does not necessarily mean that it is foolish. Only to me that it seems so.

I've always joked, that if love was staring at me, two inches away from my nose, and hanging upside down from a branch that I'd stepped on- I still would not know it. For some reason, there is a- let's call it a glitch if you will- in the lattice work, the cogs in my head, which always seems to prevent the danger.

I take some kind of strange pleasure in doing it on my own. The Independent rears her head, and rashly tosses back her head; very few people can think when she is present. It is a colorful presentation. Her wings are grand and painted red, but her handiwork is something to be marked; not many people can pursue her . . . she wins the battle, every time She is something unchained, unbound to earth . . . she soars wherever the wind takes her. She is the beauty and the soul of passion.

I have paid a high price for her, though, grand as she is. So great is her desire, so intense her passionate ways, that they do not suit the common ground. There are very few who can shake hands with a dragon. Perhaps, this is part of her charm. Has it made me an object, perhaps? Love is not of this world. Although it effervesces through life and flows as the primary connection between people, we cannot touch nor can we fully examine love; it is not something that we hold in our fingertips.

Alas, my grip is weak. Perhaps, if I was not clenched inside the dragon's grasp, it would be easier to touch it; as it is, though, I must contend with the dragon, and abide her mistakes. Her beauty, as well as her radical pride, must be mine to hold. I cannot fight with a dragon . . .

If I could, then perhaps I might even yet touch the earth. To do so with the dragon at hand seems a foolish thing, even to myself. It is not likely that she will ever become humanized enough to walk with man, and take love unto her breast. Perhaps she will, though in time.  

Only in fantasies do people fight with dragons. Is love a worthy cause perhaps? If it is effervescent, and all-encompassing, perhaps love is not inasmuch a fantasy- and, perhaps, that is the initial point. Is love real? Can we really fall into love?

This is just the question . . . 

We Did Not Fall Into Love- Thoughts on an Article in the New York Times . . .

We Did Not Fall Into Love ~  

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0

{Part 1: This is my critique, as well as my opinion, on the article shown above- can a person really fall in love with another? }

'We did not fall into love. We made the choice to love each other.' Merely stating the outcome at the end of the piece choose her words must better than she could- it made her point. This was beautifully written.

The idea of 'falling into love' seems incredibly rash, and purely stupid. I have never pretended to understand how one could make such a decision. I have always wondered what would compel people to such a foolish act. You are probably correct in saying that some people can and will fall into love- perhaps, they are attracted to the idea of it? I never have been.

I remember the way that my mother elaborated on the topic: 'it was love at first sight,' was the platitude that she used to describe it. Thus, an internal compartment- some hidden hope, or chamber, locked away in my heart, or subconscious (call it what you will)- was born. On occasion, the dove that lived inside of it would always appear, fancying that it saw the 'look,' and would wonder about the phrase. Would I come across it sporadically, one day, as though in a fairytale?

'Love at first sight?' It is an attractive idea, but one that I scorn wholeheartedly. I do, absolutely believe that some people can fall into love. To me, love is a vague term that encompasses many traits, decisions, and qualities that comprise- shall we say, one grand feeling. It is the perception of love. Everyone has a unique way of finding it. For some, a long, upstanding friendship- lust for others- or perhaps need. There are hundreds of different scenarios . . .

The idea of 'falling into love,' just does not seem like a great idea. I truly wonder how people even try it. Finding yourself in that situation is like spiraling through a black chute- some hole which has no determinate point or axis. Is the person who has no relationships weaker that he/she, who has twenty? Is her vain of moral fiber not as strong?

What is worse? To experience this idea over ten or twelve different relationships, or not to have any? Is the person brave who keeps to the side, because they see the problem beforehand; see the 'hole?'

I am not asking you to answer. I just have always wondered. It is an idea that has often perplexed me. I do not believe that people should fall in love because they give up their right of choice; how can the individual, who is fully thinking, and in control, take that leap? It seems absurd . . .

The point, of course, is that you don't take a leap. You make the 'decision,' whether to love or not. We are not held onto by puppet-strings . . . in spite of what others may tell you. 

The Dove ~

Jan. 15, 2015-

Move aside from me as I pass by you . . . I am not just a cog in the work force . . . not something which you can 'rent to own.' I am not a machine that  you can grind, with some kind of precision . . . I will not work with accordance to your hand. You cannot have me, I am not yours- I am a free spirit, a free soul, and I will fly away from your efforts to thwart me . . . I am a dove that cannot be caged. Let me loose, let me by you. . . 

An Ecosystem of Thought

An Economy of Thought- do we ever consider that we are part of an ecosystem of ideas? Do we ever take the time to realize that we are not just a part of physical science? We are an organism with greater functionality- and each of us depends upon the other to grow.

I think that everyone needs to consider themselves to be a member of life. We are part of an ecosystem of thoughts, a matrix of ideas; we need to help them grow and germinate. We should affix ourselves to the structure of living, and not of dying out in the overgrown, dried up fields. We are an organism of thought, with a greater functionality. Each of us depends upon the other to pollinate the next part.

You know that I think is really interesting? Most people have no depth or meaning to their person. This is apparent when you look at them, when they speak to you- nothing golden glows upon their ragged tongues- they do not burn with fire, passion, with anything unique; there is nothing that separates them from the other class. One person has his hair flattened, just the same as the next, and the color is just the same. Styles and interests do not vary that much between different people, like this.'

This is what I find so irritating about people. Why is it, that someone glances to the person beside them, to think only, 'wow, that hair style is distinct. Maybe I should wear mine with spikes tomorrow, as well?' I cannot help but look at them, and to wonder, 'is this all that is going on in your head? You worry about how your hair well the color of your hair matches up? I don't suppose they wonder that they will be outfitted- and shunned- if theirs is one iota less fashionable at their nightly gala.

Pish! I simply cannot stand it.

I cannot look a these people save to feel some scorn- and maybe, at times, a little pity. Where is the point in thinking about the weather tomorrow? What does it matter? As Jesus noted, there is so much more to life than dust and earth- why do we waste so much time thinking about so many stupid things? To circle in such a constant drag of redundancy, seems to me the most horrible thing life can offer us. Human beings were not bred to follow a certain outline- if we live in a matrix, we die . . . it is only the use of the uncommon traits that tend to survive. Adaptation tells us that we must be unique, and the spirit begs it.  

Our minds were not built upon the matrix of an earring's complex. If you do not even have a hair's-breadth- an iota  worthy of an idea, that goes beyond the platform of your colleague's dress style, then let me say this: I have no respect for you.  You are a shame to the human race, and you irritate me more than words can tell. We must strive very hard to be different.  The mind is the avenue into all opportunities for human life, and we cannot progress in the circling dregs that you wander within- you will kill us all off. It will not hurt you terribly to let go of your attachment, and move your thoughts in another way. Think about yourself as a body of human life, on the face of the planet. We are here to assist the earth, to help ourselves grow exponentially, and in new dynamics and realms . . .

Don't kills us off with your ideas- or lack thereof. 

The Soul Should Decide ~

Jan/5/2015-

I think I am in a self-placed conundrum. It's as though the harder I try to force myself to be a productive line, the more it zags out of control. By the end of the day, I cannot make heads or tails of the self-depicted work, and meaning evades me.

I don't think you can force yourself within specific lines of progress . . . I think it must come to you, like a waiting beacon flashes in the night. You cannot plan not to become lost . . . but can only do your best to find your way when the light returns. Maybe, it's better that we all become lost from time to time, so that in the end, we will have a way to return. It is the only way to find your way back.

We cannot force ourselves to walk in a straight line. The body can do it well, but the soul will always rebel. No matter what signs are placed down, they can only offer us guidance. The mind is ultimately what makes the decision whether 'this' is a good path, and the soul aides it. Paths are a conglomeration of lines and words that guide us; without the mind, they have no meaning. They cannot make our choices for us . . .

Although it is difficult- the soul should decide.