- A short series of articles that was inspired by the dating concept. I read two different articles, both of which struck me strong- if not due to their foolishness- then their ability to entertain me. Please read the articles and then the critiques in succession. Feel free to leave comments.
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'The Pain of Falling for a Guy who Only 'Kinda' Likes You,'
Here are some of my thoughts based on the article by Jenn Chan. Please see:
http://elitedaily.com/dating/pain-falling-guy-kinda-likes/923946/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange
That said . . . ahem-
This article makes some interesting points; however, I must say that I think there are a few holes in it. For one thing, I feel that this author is being almost deliberately stereotypical, and unjust. In the case of such partialities, men feel just as strongly as the women do; to suggest that women are the only ones who feel 'played' is juvenile. It is also foolish to imply that the man is at fault, because he does not provide what she desires-
Now, it has been clarified that this woman has made a decision for the man. She states that the 'man was never on the same page.' How can the author suggest that the man was never on the same page? Had the woman communicated her message, then they both would have been reading out of the same chapter . . . I hope you can see what I mean.
My conclusion from this is that the woman has poor communication skills. The idea of 'kinda' liking someone, but it not being enough, is erroneous; it implies that the relationship began without communication present. If you are 'wondering' whether someone likes you, then there is an obvious lack in honesty- and this makes the entire point moot.
To be fair, the idea can be applied to most relationships- but its tone is presumptuous, and she leaves out a lot of different possibilities. This basically puts me in mind of a fourteen year old, buck-toothed girl, who whines about the fact that she can't get the boy's attention with class notes. She passes the note down the row, and grieves when he does not respond because he 'doesn't like her enough.'
But- perhaps he simply lost the note?
So . . . this is one dotty woman. Not only did she fail to communicate her point, but she did not realize that the note was lost. . . yet she poured her time into her own imaginary world of ideas, that existed only as a fantasy in her own mind . . .
She would have fared much better as an artist.
A little bit of light flippancy, here . . . please do not take offense at my critique of this piece. Take it with a grain of salt- if the author happens to be reading this, then please know it was kindly meant . .
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Based on articles such as 'To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This,' (by Mandy Le Catron), some of my own experiences, and perhaps some of yours-here are my thoughts today's date scene. Please feel free to browse, and yes- to actively debate them. . .
We Did Not Fall Into Love ~
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0
{Part 1: This is my critique, as well as my opinion, on the article shown above- can a person really fall in love with another? }
'We did not fall into love. We made the choice to love each other.' Merely stating the outcome at the end of the piece choose her words must better than she could- it made her point. This was beautifully written.
The idea of 'falling into love' seems incredibly rash, and purely stupid. I have never pretended to understand how one could make such a decision. I have always wondered what would compel people to such a foolish act. You are probably correct in saying that some people can and will fall into love- perhaps, they are attracted to the idea of it? I never have been.
I remember the way that my mother elaborated on the topic: 'it was love at first sight,' was the platitude that she used to describe it. Thus, an internal compartment- some hidden hope, or chamber, locked away in my heart, or subconscious (call it what you will)- was born. On occasion, the dove that lived inside of it would always appear, fancying that it saw the 'look,' and would wonder about the phrase. Would I come across it sporadically, one day, as though in a fairy tale?
'Love at first sight?' It is an attractive idea, but one that I scorn wholeheartedly. I do, absolutely believe that some people can fall into love. To me, love is a vague term that encompasses many traits, decisions, and qualities that comprise- shall we say, one grand feeling. It is the perception of love. Everyone has a unique way of finding it. For some, a long, upstanding friendship- lust for others- or perhaps need. There are hundreds of different scenarios . . .
The idea of 'falling into love,' just does not seem like a great idea. I truly wonder how people even try it. Finding yourself in that situation is like spiraling through a black chute- some hole which has no determinate point or axis. Is the person who has no relationships weaker that he/she, who has twenty? Is her vain of moral fiber not as strong?
What is worse? To experience this idea over ten or twelve different relationships, or not to have any? Is the person brave who keeps to the side, because they see the problem beforehand; see the 'hole?'
I am not asking you to answer. I just have always wondered. It is an idea that has often perplexed me. I do not believe that people should fall in love because they give up their right of choice; how can the individual, who is fully thinking, and in control, take that leap? It seems absurd . . .
The point, of course, is that you don't take a leap. You make the 'decision,' whether to love or not. We are not held onto by puppet-strings . . . in spite of what others may tell you.
We Did Not Fall Into Love . . .
(Part 2) For the Love of a Dragon ~
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0
I had a few ongoing thoughts about our love, and extenuating relationships. Strangely, this has always been an area that has fascinated me, perhaps because its idea has thwarted me for so long. . . I admit that I do not understand it. I have never wandered into the folds of abundant beauty and poison . . . it escapes me that people would want it. Is love far beneath my notice? Perhaps some of this is, after all, embedded in my personality. To plunge in the midst of a passionate twist, not to stay upon the sidelines, seems foolish. This does not necessarily mean that it is foolish. Only to me that it seems so.
I've always joked, that if love was staring at me, two inches away from my nose, and hanging upside down from a branch that I'd stepped on- I still would not know it. For some reason, there is a- let's call it a glitch if you will- in the lattice work, the cogs in my head, which always seems to prevent the danger.
I take some kind of strange pleasure in doing it on my own. The Independent rears her head, and rashly tosses back her head; very few people can think when she is present. It is a colorful presentation. Her wings are grand and painted red, but her handiwork is something to be marked; not many people can pursue her . . . she wins the battle, every time She is something unchained, unbound to earth . . . she soars wherever the wind takes her. She is the beauty and the soul of passion.
I have paid a high price for her, though, grand as she is. So great is her desire, so intense her passionate ways, that they do not suit the common ground. There are very few who can shake hands with a dragon. Perhaps, this is part of her charm. Has it made me an object, perhaps? Love is not of this world. Although it effervesces through life and flows as the primary connection between people, we cannot touch nor can we fully examine love; it is not something that we hold in our fingertips.
Alas, my grip is weak. Perhaps, if I was not clenched inside the dragon's grasp, it would be easier to touch it; as it is, though, I must contend with the dragon, and abide her mistakes. Her beauty, as well as her radical pride, must be mine to hold. I cannot fight with a dragon . . .
If I could, then perhaps I might even yet touch the earth. To do so with the dragon at hand seems a foolish thing, even to myself. It is not likely that she will ever become humanized enough to walk with man, and take love unto her breast. Perhaps she will, though in time.
Only in fantasies do people fight with dragons. Is love a worthy cause perhaps? If it is effervescent, and all-encompassing, perhaps love is not inasmuch a fantasy- and, perhaps, that is the initial point. Is love real? Can we really fall into love?
This is just the question . . .
We Did Not Fall Into Love ~
(Part 3) Love is on the Market-
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=0
I am writing this piece in response to two friends. One recently stated to me that 'loving is the most honorable thing in the world.' The other, when asked to further notate the topic, stated that 'it is better to have loved and to have lost that love, then never to have loved' . . .
As this is a topic that never ceases to fascinate me, I wanted to continue it. Please do not take me the wrong way, as my ideas are rebellious. They fight bullishly to the top of the line, to escape from their matrix. . . they are not very well confined.
I am a declared skeptic. I confess that I do not understand the concept of relationships. In our society, there is plenty of reason to suspect some deep, other motive brewing . . . however, this is not to say that I do not believe in love. I just do not think that relationships are necessarily the base point. How one can be used as a base to build upon, when the idea is wrong, makes no sense. Is the reason to play mix and match? Is love for money, is love for looks? Is it so that one might be socially accepted? Is love merely for companionship? How, in short, do you define it?
It seems to me that there are so many reasons for it that none of them can possibly be true. Caring for other people is natural; it is without cause. True love has no manipulation behind it. I feel as though I can spot a false relationship quicker than anyone else can. Perhaps this is because the parties are generally trying to love. What would be an 'honorable trait' has been made a joke of. Love has become a product. It is now on the market so that you can choose the correct size, shape, and color . . .
People are always trying to love, and they are always failing to do it. True love only has one color- it is only white. I do not think that one can go 'looking' for love. Love must come to you. This is why I have always declared myself against dating. The very idea of placing yourself on the market, to show your product to the world and be judged- is wrong. It feels like a wrong hand in a game of cards, and you are losing. Love is like a dove . . . it must be free to fly to you.
Love is 'NOT' on the market.
